We have these grudges, these ambitions, these angers but as Father Sebastian put it to me Our Lord’s Passion is not about us sharing in it but of Him relieving us of our burdens.
And the least of the burdens was carrying the Cross from Wells to Downside. I went to bed full of joy.
Why can’t one feel this joy in one’s ordinary life? Because in ordinary life, you don’t spend your hours of the day in church and four hours on a Cross walk.