Dear Gabriel,
St. Thomas did chose his Martyrdom in 1170. Perhaps he even deliberately provoked it. To me the most attractive reading of this day are the words of Simeon from Luke 2: 22-35.
I always think this would be a nice way to go:
‘Now, master, you can let your servant go in piece, just as you promised, because my eyes have seen the Salvation.’
But do I believe that my eyes have seen my salvation?
That is the question that I grapple with.
Yours,
Thomas