May the day perish when I was born.
And the night that I was conceived.
Job is distraught, torn.
But his faith is redeemed.

St Therese delights in the little things.
That still bring  great love.
Eternity sings.
Coming and going, a fluttering dove.

I was at the small mass in the seminary.
Nothing grand but a great sense of peace.
Moving, for all that the feeling is temporary.
But no matter we try again and again without cease.

She died young .
But her song of love she has sung.

……

If you are not great
Just remember St Therese.
Remembered always

……

See Job 3

The house fell in on the young .
They are all dead.
We have to climb faith rung by rung.
We must search, we are not led.

I am always struck by the faith of Job.
In the face of unimaginable suffering.
I could never put on this intense faithful robe .
Or avoid start blaming and wailing.

But Job is an ideal.
We can learn if we cannot follow
We can not match this zeal.
After all our faith is timid, hollow.

But for him  all came out right .
Because he knew what was right.

…….

Can we follow Job
No probably we cannot
But then we can try

…. ..

See Job 1 : 6-22

If anyone gives you a cup of water.
He will most certainly not lose his reward.
But earn his imprimatur.
And will come closer to the Lord.

I am at the church of St Gabriel’s.
For his patronal  feast.
I pray not just for the archangel but all Gabriels  ,Michaels and Raphaels.
On this their great feast.

Do angels exist.
One is looking after us now.
Even if we cannot pierce the celestial mist.
But they are at all our shoulders through every high and low.

None are against us.
But all for us.

…….

Do angels exist
Yes they do if we believe
And always for us

……

See Mark 9

Cast worry from your heart.
Shield your flesh from pain.
It’s a start.
And we’re in the right lane.

As I leave Buckfast.
I ask why am I so happy on retreat.
I leave the monastery , it doesn’t last.
Perhaps because I’m no longer sitting at the Lord’s seat.

Is one happy there
Because one’s heart is filled with God’s teaching .
Not cluttered by the world’s care.
But always searching.

That’s why I continue to seek.
It’s not just about being meek.

……

Cast worry from heart
And shield your flesh from all pain
That at least to start

…….

See Ecclesiasties 11: 9-12

Give me neither riches nor poverty.
Only my share .
Nor happiness or misery.
Only that I should care.

I was praying to Padre Pio.
That during the night my leg should stop aching.
I realised that I had mused the point In my woe.
The point was that praying my leg would stop hurting.

Wasn’t to stop the aching.
It was to get me to start praying.
Now the Father could start listening.
And I could start dreaming.

When we pray for something.
We get not what we want but that is not nothing.

……

Give not what I want
But what I really need
The point of prayer

……

See Proverbs 30: 5-9

The Lord spoke to Ahaz and said ask God for a sign.
From the depths of Sheol or the heights above.
Where we ask is our shrine.
And where is our true love.

I woke in the middle of the night.
All at last seemed clear from that still moment.
One needn’t endlessly question what is right.
To accept is to be content.

And the other great truth is this.
All that really matters is  love.
Frankly everything else you can safely miss.
Because it comes from down below not above.

Sheol , a deathless underworld is not for us.
Hope and heaven lie waiting for us .

…….

We ask for a sign
It’s from below or above
It just comes from love

……

See Isaiah 7: 10-14, 8 : 10

No one lights a candle to cover it with a bowl.
Or put it under a bed.
Do we search for our transcendent soul.
As we seek our daily bread.

The Anglican service was ending.
Delightful, traditional.
But just words unending.
And I had not felt the call.

But then at the end of the service.
We sat in silence praying.
Here at last I felt grace.
And a deeper understanding.

You cannot approach a service rationally.
You have to do so emotionally.

…….

The service ending
We just sat there in silence
With abundant grace

….

See Luke 8: 16-18

Whenever you find jealousy and ambition.
You find disharmony.
To what truly do we offer rendition.
How do we keep ourselves in harmony.

The wisdom that comes down from above.
Is essentially something pure.
It comes from pure love.
Of that, if nothing else, we can be sure.

It makes for peace.
And is kindly and considerate.
But we have to search without cease.
It is the only thing we should rate.

It is full of compassion.
If we search for it with passion.

…….

Jealousy, ambition
There you find disharmony
From above find peace

….,,,

See James 16-4 : 3

Why does your master eat with tax collectors.
And sinners.
But then we are all sin collectors.
And perhaps even worse sinners.

It is not the healthy that need the doctor.
But the sick.
Today we think of Matthew the lector.
The evangelists’ yardstick.

What I want is mercy.
Not sacrifice.
Or maybe controversy.
As we throw life’s dice.

Like Matthew do we decide to follow.
Or are we too entangled to follow.

…..

Matthew got up
He was called and he followed
Do we do the same

…….

See Matthew 9 : 9-13

John the Baptist comes not drinking.
And you say he is possessed.
He is passing by.
And truly he is blessed.

The son of man comes , eating and drinking.
And you say, glutton and a drunkard.
Although he is forgiving.
And our faults are unnumbered.

A friend of tax collectors.
And sinners.
Probably also debtors.
And dreamers.

By others we cannot do right.
That doesn’t mean we aren’t right.

.. …..

John is not drinking
Jesus the friend of drunkards
Neither can do right

…..

See Luke 7 : 31-35

Everyone praised God saying.
A great prophet has appeared.
Seeking is not necessarily believing.
But of course he lived, he cared.

They have found a new galaxy.
Its light takes 11 billion years to reach us.
Could Jesus really have created this galaxy.
Was he not a man once , one of us.

He called himself the son of God
He talked of his Heavenly Father.
But did he ever call himself God.
Perhaps he was a sliver of the divine essence of the father.

But where I ask is God to be found.
Is he up there , I do not know, or is he all around.

……..

Where can I find God
Is he in heaven or here
And what is heaven

.. ……

See Luke 7 : 11-17

Sir I am not worthy to have you under my roof.
But give the word and let my servant be cured.
Too often in history people remained aloof.
Not so much loved as feared.

We admire the Centurion for his modesty.
And of course for his faith being transparent.
Can we say we have such faith in all honesty.
Or is our zeal all spent.

So the servant was cured.
Jesus did not have to go there.
We may not see him either but we can be assured.
We will not see him here now but maybe later there.

The humility of the Centurion.
Has down the ages given him mention.

…..

I am not worthy
To have you under my roof
Can we too say that

…….

See Luke 7 : 1-10

we just have to dream.

All is not what it might seem

He gave his only son.
So that everyone who believes in him may not be lost.
Our search is never done.
Whatever the cost.

But do we truly believe.
So can we count on not being lost.
We give but will we receive.
Our faith reduced to frost.

God sent his son , not to condemn.
So that through him the world might be saved.
We really all are a gem.
Our path to glory is well paved.

We just have to to really try to listen
And we will into heaven be christen.

…….

He gave us his son
So if we believe in him
We might then be saved

…….

See John 3 : 13-17

Love your enemies
Do good to those who hate you.
Search for remedies.
Act for him, her, and you.

Why do you observe the splinter in your brother’s eye.
And never notice the plank in your own.
Are we living a lie.
Do we worry too much about we own.

Suddenly last night all was clear.
I woke to a great love of mankind.
At once I knew no fear .
It was enough to just be kind.

But these sublime moments pass.
As we move out of sleep’s pass.

……

Love your enemies
Do good to those who hate you
But do we do this

……

See Luke 6 : 39-42

How happy those who are poor.
Theirs is the kingdom of God
What do we really want to ask for.
What do we think is really right or odd.

I am looking at Van Gogh’s Olive Trees
The sun is a natural halo.
The disc hovers above the trees.
Art can take us anywhere , high or low.

Art can be spiritually expressive.
Without quoting from the bible.
It can send a strong missive.
In itself a religious fable.

I stood in the room alone with these pictures.
Here there seemed to be only light and no physical fixtures.

……..

Art spiritually
Expressive without bibles
As strong as the word

……..

See Luke 6 : 20-26

Everyone in the crowd.
Was trying to touch him.
Because the  power that cured the whole crowd.
Came out of him.

I suddenly felt the strength of these words.
As I listened to them in mass.
There is nothing more powerful than his words .
In any mass.

Now in Luke Jesus relies less on miracles.
And more on the power of teaching.
There is as much power in words as in  miracles.
And even greater and more powerful teaching.

The power of words hits you.
And you realise suddenly this is for you.

……..

Everyone touching
His power cured the whole crowd
And it will cure us

…….

See Luke 6 : 12-19

How can you be so proud of yourselves.
You should be in mourning.
Look first at ourselves.
Before we start condemning.

St Paul says a man who does a thing like that.
Ought to have been expelled from the community.
But was he, are we sure that he had done that.
Is this or that something that marks our unsuitability.

Better to be understanding.
Ready to forgive.
Not condemning.
Love and let live.

Are we sure what happened.
If indeed anything happened.

…….

Look first at ourselves
Before we start condemning
For are we honest

…….,

See 1 Corinthians 5 : 1-8