Search and you will find.
Knock and the door will be opened.
Sometimes we are anxious , at other times resigned.
A door closes and then is reopened.

I was at mass in the early morning.
It was in French , I was half asleep.
And then I started listening.
And here were words to treasure and keep.

For all my doubting.
I have to keep searching.
And maybe I will end up finding.
If I stop resisting.

No longer pleasure seeking .
But pausing, not away running.

……..

As the Buddha paused
Accepting experience
Not grasping at it

……

See Luke 11 : 5-18

I knew you were a God of tenderness and compassion.
Slow to anger, rich in graciousness.
Yet beyond all human comprehension.
A God of tenderness.

I approach Christianity with emotion.
And with joy.
But not really with reason
Although mere reason cannot a belief destroy.

I approach Buddhism with reason
Yet I feel no real joy.
And not really with emotion.
It’s not Christianity’s same alloy.

I pray for a God that is loving.
Rather than endless lives coming and going

………

What gives us most joy
Is it Christianity
I know the answer

…….

See Jonah 4 : 1-11

Martha, you worry and fret.
About so many things.
In reality nothing is set.
Without worries we can take wings.

I try everything during the long night.
Including only being a witness to thinking.
Before the first grey shafts of reluctant light.
But nothing is working.

I worry about  when the alarm will go off.
Is it ten or thirty minutes to  waking.
I seem stuck in a sleepless trough.
And finally dosing,it starts ringing.

Why are we so like Martha.
Why can we not do more laughter.

…….

Are we like Martha
Or can we be like Mary
Surely it’s our choice

….

See Luke 10: 38-42

The kingdom of heaven.
Is like a dragnet cast into the sea.
It is transformative leaven.
Going. Far beyond what we can see.

I am reading Robert Adams writing.
Free the mind from the slavery of thought.
Be the witness not the slave of thinking.
Do not allow yourself to be caught.

All is right.
The only reality is now
Transcendent light.
Think of what is, not how.

God is not somewhere.
He is everywhere.

…….

Know that all is right
We are not here or there now
We are everywhere

……

See Mathew 13 : 47-52

There is no need to worry.
If there is anything you need pray with thanksgiving.
In this world we do not long tarry.
Soon we will be passing.

All suffering or dissatisfaction arises from a mistaken understanding.
That we are a separate and distinct self, the Buddha said.
We are constantly ego craving.
But we are part of a whole and all partly made.

I always felt this with my emotion.
Now I feel I know with reason.
If only we could submerge ourself in humanity’s ocean.
We might break free in every season.

Yesterday I praised the Rosary with reasoning.
Last night , sleepless, I said it with understanding.

……

We’re not separate
We are not just this  our self
But part of a whole

…….

See  Philippians 4 : 6-9
And Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

The poor when they see it will be glad.
And God seeking hearts will revive.
Why do we have to be so sad.
Are we not, after all , alive.

Often in the dead of night.
Tossing and turning sleeplessly.
Only the Rosary gives any light.
The Hail Mary’s repeated endlessly.

The ancient monks used a knotted rope.
To count the one hundred and fifty psalms each week.
Somehow this calms and gives hope.
We can just accept and not have to seek.

If we pray the Rosary.
It’s not just mere Popery.

…….

Pray the Rosary
And something sublime happens
We do not know how

….  ….

See Psalm 68

Once the hand is laid on the plough.
No one who looks back is fit for the Kingdom.
We always hesitate to make the bow.
As we seek a new wisdom.

Yes , we always hesitate.
We’re not ready for full commitment.
For fear of being late.
Perhaps we don’t really want any full involvement.

When I hear this gospel, I feel guilty.
I listen but I carry on as always.
It’s no change, it’s still me.
I persist in my old ways.

But at least I can do a bit of writing.
If not much fighting.

……..

Hand on the plough?
Well perhaps not quite just yet
We just hesitate

…….

See Luke 9: 57-62

Lord do you want fire from heaven to burn them up.
He rebuked them and they went off to another village.
Can we drink his forgiving cup.
Can we walk with him whatever the mileage.

Unforgiving events seemed to crowd around today.
Then I leafed through some scripture readings.
They were all as powerful as the sun’s ray.
All falling on rich earth , fast growing seedlings.

The talk around me was of material things.
But here was the true reality.
Eternal not ephemeral rings.
A new other worldly city.

Like a distant star.
Permanently alight but so far.

…….

Material things
May come or stay or go soon
But scripture remains

…….

See Luke 9 : 51-56

I will be their God in faithfulness.
And integrity.
Moving forward with kindness
Constantly.

I was listening to a speech on forgiveness.
And redemption.
It is all about leaving behind bitterness.
And relieving tension.

But we so often fall short.
We think in terms of retribution.
We feel guilt as we try to enter our  port.
Instead of seeking absolution.

But we know the right way.
Even if we do not know our way.

…….

We will start with guilt
Then will seek forgiveness
To find redemption

……

See Zechariah 8: 1-8

Let the faithful rejoice in their glory.
Shout for joy and take their rest.
We wonder how it will end, this our story.
Will we ever regain our youthful zest.

And I wonder what I would do every day.
If I really really acted as if the gospel was true.
How it it would change one’s life , who can say.
But monumentally different , everything made anew.

Nothing here would seem important.
Only how we loved God with all our being.
And our neighbour as ourself, a new concordant
This would be an entirely new way of living.

I dreamt that for a moment I would live this way.
But for how many minutes would I persevere, who can say.

……..

If we knew God lives
How would change our living
All our life would change

…….

See Psalm 149

My God, I am ashamed.
I blush to lift my face.
Yet all of us are named.
Even if , here , we leave no trace.

We are so governed by our senses.
And by our racing thoughts.
We look  not within, but only with physical lenses.
We do not search for our soul’s true traits.

We should pause awhile and look within.
At our true source.
There we find no sin.
But we search in vain for what is our true force.

Deep deep inside.
Only questions collide.

…….

Governed by senses
We do not look within us
And there we find what

…….

See Ezra 9 : 5-9

Thus the last will be first.
And the first last.
For what really, do we thirst.
Where in the lake of life will we make our cast.

We are so tied up in our ego.
But we have no idea where we are coming from, body or soul.
Or where we are going and what our life will sow.
Who we are , unique or part of a whole.

Or why we are here.
But we need not worry about our reward.
Not first or last but grace will wipe away every tear.
Whatever happens at death we will move forward.

In heaven there will be neither first nor last.
And for that and only that , we thirst.

……..

The first will be last .
And so the last will be first
That’s the only way

…….

See Matthew 20 : 1-16

Religion does bring large profits.
But only to those who are content with what they have.
We just have to follow the prophets.
And we find it as a soothing as any salve.

We are told as long as we have food and clothing.
Let us be content with that.
But we never are , we’re always grasping.
And again and again we fall flat.

We are told , the love of money.
Is the root of all evil.
But it passes through our hands like honey.
There’s something in this that’s almost primeval.

The truth is we can’t do without money’s lure.
Even if again and again it makes us sore.

………

The root of evil
Is money we are all told
And we do nothing

………

See 1Timothy 6 : 2-12

When the Lord saw her , he felt sorry for her.
Do not cry , he said.
He just felt sorry , he didn’t want to make a stir.
But he raised the boy from the dead.

The mother didn’t need to ask for his help.
He was just passing by.
We don’t need either to ask for help.
For he always is passing by.

We just don’t see him.
Our cares blind us.
He is below our horizon’s rim.
But he is still there , making no fuss .

For only a soul sees below life’s horizon.
And our live bodies don’t have that vision.

………

When the Lord saw her
He just felt sorry for her
She didn’t ask him

……..

See Luke 7: 11-17