Give me your hand, put it into my side.
Doubt no longer but believe.
We have a new  eternal guide.
Even if unlike St Thomas we cannot touch only perceive.

I woke with a feeling of happiness.
After I had rested in the present now of being .
We can get rid of this eternal doubting restlessness.
From past and future a temporary freeing.

We need to rest from the mind’s questioning.
To watch it, not be controlled by its working.
Let the thoughts like passing ships keep rolling.
But on them you don’t need to be boarding.

And then of course something makes you start doubting.
And you start again with the questioning.

……

So unlike St Thomas
We now cannot touch his side
But we can believe

…….

See John 20 : 19-31

Go out to the whole world .
Proclaim the good news to all creation.
He had opened up forever the underworld.
And the call went out to every nation.

The scribes were astonished by their assurance.
Considering they were uneducated laymen.
And we marvel at the disciples’ endurance.
True , it is clear , they were robust fishermen.

And our own faith is so weak.
We would never put our lives at risk.
Yet we can still seek.
And attempt to throw s spiritual disk.

For we have not, with our own eyes, seen.
Only heard , so sadly we are not so keen.

…….

Go into the world
And all proclaim the good news
To all creation

…….

See Mark 16 : 9-15 and Acts of the Apostles 4 : 13-21

It was light by now and there stood Jesus on the shore.
Though the disciples did not recognise it was Jesus.
During this week we should be shaken to the core.
Only one person has ever risen from the dead, Jesus.

The detail is convincing.
Down to the number of fishes caught.
But we always need more convincing.
Further proof is always sought.

But would the disciples have gone out .
If the whole thing was imagined.
We just have to accept  and suspend doubt.
Than joy and truth can be divined.

We too are in that boat, going about our daily chore.
Looking and hoping for that figure on the far shore.

….. ..

Jesus on the shore
We are far out on our boat
We ask is it he

……

See John 21 : 1-14

In a state of alarm and fright.
They thought they were seeing a ghost.
Sometimes too we cannot see the light.
Nor even the divine host.

Today at mass I was in such back pain.
The sermon passed me by completely.
I’m not sure where I was and in which lane.
I fidgeted , what I thought was discretely.

Then later at the Orthodox twelve gospels .
I let the old Slavonic pass through me.
I could not understand, but I was one with the disciples.
I could not hear enough to comprehend, but I could see.

Thus we do not need to understand.
But we need to feel and to take his wounded hand.

…….

In alarm and fright
They thought they saw but a ghost
But he’s real enough

……

See John 21 : 1-14

He took the bread and said the blessing.
And their eyes were opened.
And we sometimes do not see him passing.
And we miss an extraordinary dividend.

I stepped out of the warmth of the cottage into the night.
And thought that within twenty years I will be in the cold cemetery.
All this pampered body out of mind and sight.
But the soul flies away so I suppose it’s not too scary.

Later I dreamt that someone was saying something nasty and political.
But then my wife led me away with a lovely smile.
Thus all things pass , even all things critical.
The soul lives on while they are put away in an unread file.

So there’s no point in worrying about health.
Or indeed about all too temporary wealth.

…….

He said the blessing
And giving the broken bread
Thus opened their eyes

…..

See Luke 24: 13-35

She turned around and saw Jesus standing there.
Though she did not recognise him.
Through the clouds of centuries we peer.
Unwilling or unable to see him.

We too ask where he has been put.
Perhaps we would like too to move him.
Then he calls our name as we reach out tentatively for his foot.
And then at last we should recognise him.

But how often do we doubt.
We are called by too distant an echo.
We are summoned more by a whisper than a shout.
Our awakening is all too slow.

…..

But we need to hasten
And to echoes listen.

……..

He calls us by name
But do we recognise him
It is up to us

…….

See John 20 : 11-18

Jesus said to them , do not be afraid.
Go and tell my brothers  they must leave for Galilee.
They will see me there with all debts paid.
And we too will see him along with all our family .

The flowers covered the sanctuary.
A blaze of yellow and white.
And the gospel story rang out  gloriously.
Now all despair was out of sight.

Filled with awe and great joy.
The women ran away from the tomb to tell the disciples.
And we too, such distant witness,  can feel this joy.
Enough to fill countless bibles.

We too run from the tomb.
And put paid to all gloom.

….

Do not be afraid
And go and tell my brothers
Do we do the same

…..

See Matthew 28 : 8- 15

NOTE : I have now finished my three  year cycle of sonnets Easter 2020 – Easter 2023……..
……..
Then the other disciple who had reached the tomb first .
Also went in , he saw and he believed.
At the end of this long cycle I ask for what I thirst.
And I ask too, what have I given  and not just received.

For all this three year cycle I have posted daily Sonnets.
I have no idea if anyone has enjoyed any of this reading.
Easter 2020 in lockdown to Easter 2023 bonnets.
Anyway,  it’s given me great pleasure in writing.

Just as the disciples experienced on Easter Day .
We all have different ways of witnessing.
Which is better , who can say.
Some in wonder, others in understanding.

My greatest pleasure this weekend was lending my hymn book.
So who knows what is the best way to follow the good book.

……..

He saw and believed
We who have not seen must too
We just have the choice.

.. …

See John 20: 1-9

Aren’t you another one of that man’s disciples.
He answered , “I am not”.
We too have our line in meandering denials.
Always ready to tie ourselves into a questioning knot.

What do we do when we survey the wondrous cross.
It may be our favourite hymn but is it our guide.
Do we count our greatest gain as loss.
And pour contempt on all our pride.

But when I sing it on Good Friday.
A tear rolls down my cheek .
I seem at that moment to know the way.
Even though my faith is all too weak.

But when we look on this day at the cross.
We know that there will be gain after loss.

……

How do we answer
If asked if a disciple
Do we say I’m not

……

See John 18 : 1-19 , 42

We groan inwardly.
And await the redemption of our bodies.
We walk gingerly and no longer firmly.
For our ailments there are no antibodies.

I read Psalm 38 , a prayer for sickness .
During a long night of back pain.
Trying in every turn to reduce its fierceness.
But of course, everything was in vain.

As we get older hearing and vision dim.
And there is no cure , they don’t get any better.
Against an ever faster flowing tide is our swim.
No longer the pace setter or the go getter.

So I just read the psalm.
And try to sleep and keep calm.

…….

We groan inwardly
And await redemption
Does it ever come

……

See Psalm 38 from today’s Office of Readings

When runners reach the turning point in a racecourse.
They have to pause briefly before they can go back .
We worry looking for truth’s source.
Peering through a spiritual crack.

I was trying to get to sleep with the Office of Readings
And I came across these words from St Basil the Great.
We get so more from this than all those meetings.
With most of them , it doesn’t matter if you are there or early or late.

This is about  a turning point.
We can go on as we are .
Wondering what’s the point.
Or we can follow our star

So for a moment we need to pause.
And wonder what is the root cause.

……

Where’s the turning point
Is it now or  to coming .
But we do not know

…….

From the book , On The Holy Spirit by St Basil the Great , bishop

He said this not because he cared about the poor.
But because he was a thief.
This passion story cuts us to our core.
We feel that from this despair there can be no relief.

So I went to hear Rachmaninoff’s Vespers.
The music rang out in the church of the Temple.
Sung in Russian , the meaning became clear only  in whispers.
But emotion still did tremble .

Really the vespers  is better with men’s bases.
In  the Spiritual atmosphere of an orthodox service.
Giving us ever greater graces.
Digging below the material surface.

But the music lifts you to another plane.
Propelling is into the spiritual fast lane .

……..

The vespers  music
Of Rachmaninoff rang out
Soothingly intense

……..

See John 12 : 1-11

The Jews said , now we know for certain.
You are possessed .
We try to peer behind the curtain.
But we are blessed.

At the Sanctus I bent to kneel.
My knees hit the floor.
And I felt great joy, this was real.
For just one moment you can be struck to the core.

And then the moment passes.
But we believe in that moment he is God
My glory is confirmed by the father, we him  say in masses.
By , he adds , the one of whom you say, he is our god .

They did not believe and cast a stone.
But in their disbelief, with us , they are not alone.

…….

My glory is  thus
Confirmed  then by the father
In whom you believe

…..  …

See John 8 : 51-59

 
Unbind him.
Let him go free.
These words are addressed to us as well as him.
Jesus was not just letting Lazarus go free.

As he raised him from the dead.
So he promises us the same freedom.
And escape from death’s dread.
Thus  with him we will sing a Te Deum.

When he heard that Lazarus was ill.
He stayed where he was for two more days.
We too will have to wait before we know his will.
For the moment we remain blinded by the son’s rays.

But one day he will call us out of our tomb.
Just as he knew us even in the womb.

………

Unbind him he said
Let him go free he ordered
He tells us the same

…….

See John 11 : 1-45

Mary do not be afraid.
You have won God’s favour.
We have strayed and prayed.
But do we really have faith in our saviour.

Once again a long sleepless night.
The worries turning and churning.
And then came St Bernard’s prayer in the half light.
And I started remembering.

Remember Mary that no one who fled to thy protection.
Implored thy help or sought thy intercession.
Was left unaided in this petition.
But I must have faith in the annunciation.

So I stood sinful and sorrowful.
And eventually was dream full.

……

No one who fled
To thy calm protection
Was left unaided

…….

See Luke 1 : 26-38

Our life is short and dreary.
Nor is there any relief when man’s end comes.
And we feel more and more weary.
The innings will soon close without many runs.

I felt under pressure, with no let up in sight.
And under criticism, with hope waning.
Then I looked at a single star through the skylight.
So far away , through the long night, so brightly shining.

But everything needs to be kept in proportion.
If our whole world exploded.
what would life around that star know of our extinction.
We are a small part of the universe now  recorded.

So I looked at the star and said the rosary .
And everything looked a bit more rosy.

……..

Our dreary short life
Without relief at the end
Better look at stars

…….

See Wisdom 2 : 1, 12-22

I have come in the name of my father.
And you refuse to accept me.
At mass something said allowed me to see further.
I was blinded by niggling questioning , now I could better see.

The priest said something obvious .
God is beyond our comprehension.
Trying to pigeon hole him is ridiculous.
Or imagining him after the ascension.

Before I couldn’t imagine him creating billions of stars.
But we shouldn’t see him at all as in the physical world.
He is not in that sense one of ours.
Doubts could now for a time could  be furled.

So when I stopped trying to rationalise.
It was easier not to doubt or categorise.

…….

God not imagined
Is then easier to accept
As he’s beyond us

……..

See John 5 : 31- 47