Mine eyes are wet with weeping.
My soul is in turmoil.
I listened to the Lamentations of Jeremiah, my soul always seeking.
In te Domine Speravi. Am I always loyal?
In you Lord have I put my trust.
Let me never be put to confusion.
The haunting cadence of the lamentations enters my soul’s hard crust
And joy burns away all Earth’s disillusion.
This cry wounded crushed in despair.
Speaks of Jerusalem’s desolation.
But will my emotions emerge from Hell’s deepest lair?
For surely joy and hope will rise once more and be put in hopeful motion.
But now this Friday they that see me keep their distance.
My only friend a God that seems to have forsaken me and strikes me with an indifferent lance.

Dilexi Quoniam.
I am well pleased
That the Lord has granted my prayer as the merciful lamb.
That calling on him I believed.
Death encompasses us.
Trouble and heaviness of heart are everywhere.
But God is indeed merciful to all without nagging fuss.
I was miserable and he helped me from the torture of my lair.
My soul then can rest secured
Because it has been rewarded.
My soul then will not die, my feet stumble, mine eyes with tears spared.
My love for him close to my heart hoarded.
We will receive the cup of salvation.
We will pay our dues in the presence of God’s nation.

Salvum me fac.
Save me O God.
For the waters are come into the soul to my heart’s lack.
I stick fast in the deep sod.
I am come into the suffocating waters and I am weary of crying.
My throat is brittle dry.
They hate me by their tongues’ lying.
They have no cause is my sigh.
Mine enemies are more than the hairs of my head.
Though guiltless they would destroy me.
You God know my supplications that I have left unsaid.
Let those that trust me see my prayers as your fee.
It is only for you God that I suffer this reproof.
And it is your understanding that is your existence’s proof.

In te Domine speravi.
In thee, Lord, have I put my trust.
Let confusion fly from me.
Incline thine ear unto me and pierce conceit’s enveloped crust.
Deliver me Lord out of the hands of cruel men.
For I put my hope in you.
I knew you in my mother’s womb, Amen.
And my trust in you can only slowly accrue.
May I sing of your praise all day long.
And do not leave me I beg you as I grow old.
Even if my enemies gather to persecute me.
Let their hate be stilled and lie cold.
While I continue to praise you more and more.
Mine aim is this, to make mention only of your righteousness, this I abjure.

I stood alone by the country church reading today’s psalm.
The Lord is my light and my salvation.
This thought I treasured in my hand’s palm.
Thus I thought whom should I fear in all creation.
Is not then the Lord the strength of my life?
Of whom then I should be afraid.
Mine enemies then, they shall stumble though they cut my flesh with the sharpest of a knife.
There then in your tender hands will my trust be laid.
I stood alone listening to the psalm’s essence.
My mind and my thoughts silencing,
And now working through me I felt his heavy profound sentience.
No present fear, no disappointment, long festering, me menacing.
This then by this empty church was a joy creeping in.
And all for a moment, just one fleeting minute of quiet, banishing sin.

Where do I find God’s oneness?
Is it in this spring garden’s noise sparing?
In its utter quietness.
The blossom’s smallest leaves appearing.
The fascia’s brilliant yellow majestically spread.
Before me in great glory’s beauty.
Or a quiet prayer coursing unbidden through my head,
It’s strength the call of a power almighty.
The garden’s beauty so transient.
The prayer so fleeting too and humble.
The one so visual, the other sentient.
But both point to a truth incontrovertible a presence unfathanable:
That in this gardens loneliness.
My heart reaches out to a calling seeking ultimate oneness.

May the venerable exercises of holy devotion
Shape the hearts of your faithful O Lord
To put the paschal mystery into motion
And move the praises of your devotion towards the holy ford
Through which we wade towards our Lord Jesus Christ your son
Who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit
One God forever and ever in unity with your holy Son.
One God forever and ever, one being, one essence with your Holy Spirit.
Let all the people rejoice in this,
Your endless call too rarely answered.
Yet somehow is our inner self always seeking this,
Our pain too constant thus lanced.
Can we in just one moment of concentrated prayer,
Seek solace from our daily life of worry through this and by your holy seer.

Based on the collect for the day

O God who renews the face of the World through mysteries beyond all telling
Grant we pray
That your Church May be formed by virtue and not through selling
Its teaching that our priests lay
That your people may be guided by your eternal design
And not be deprived of your help in this present age
Through Jesus Christ his son given by his sign
Who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit his sage
One God for ever and ever you are mine
May my love for you sublime
Never falter in this my mind for ever as a telling sign
But be forever mine and not mere empty mime
But proven in my inner feeling
And true till my death that ultimate ceiling

Sunday 8 March 2020 — The Transfiguration

Our priest tells us that is how we shall see Christ when we get to Heaven. In the next sentence he tells us we’re all going to spend a long time in Purgatory.

So there we are.

Monday 9 March 2020

I go to the 10:30 Mass. We have no kiss of peace.

The psalm is number 78:

“Do not hold the guilt of our fathers against us.
Let your compassion hasten to meet us.”

Tuesday 10 March 2020

Apparently they have found such a huge explosion in the universe it is half the size of the Milky Way, half our galaxy, a space that could contain millions of stars, civilisations without count. Once again I think how could a wandering faith preacher, walking the dusty roads of Palestine, create such things. I think back on the concept that every needle must have a point. He can be that point.

Psalm 9: “I will recount all your wonders, I will rejoice in you and be glad.”

That is all we can do. One will never find answers in physical concepts but only in feelings. God isn’t perhaps something — that explosion the size of the Milky Way — He is nowhere and everywhere. He is love that is nowhere but can be everywhere.

Wednesday 11 March 2020

Psalm 30:

“Save me in your love, O Lord.”

Thursday 12 March 2020

We are driving up to Lincolnshire and as we pass by I pop in for a moment for the 6:00 pm Mass at the Oratory.

An image which abides: the church darkened and atmospheric in twilight. At the far end, the priest facing away, intoning the Agnus Dei in Latin. The congregation quiet, beautiful and inspiring.

Friday 13 March 2020

I open the Book of Common Prayer at random in our village church and come across Psalm 40:

“I waited patiently for the Lord,
and He inclined unto me,
and heard my calling.”

As I sat there quietly in the silence looking at the dappling light I thought maybe these words are for me of not enough faith. One just has to wait patiently and belief will come and it did in that moment.

Saturday 14 March 2020

Again I open the Book of Common Prayer at random. This time I find Psalm 74:

“O God wherefore art thou absent from us so long…”

It was a kind of bookend to yesterday’s psalm.

Sunday 1 March 2020 — First Sunday in Lent

I am giving up nothing for Lent save being angry with things like Monty our dog. I have already failed several times.

Collect: Grant, Almighty God, through the yearly observances of holy Lent, that we may grow in understanding of the riches hidden in Christ.

Monday 2 March 2020

I take Sophia to Mass. We sit at the back and she watches Peppa Pig on the iPhone.

Collect: “Instruct our minds by heavenly teaching, that we may benefit from the works of Lent.”

Tuesday 3 March 2020

Entrance Antiphon: “O Lord, you have been our refuge from generation to generation.”

Wednesday 4 March 2020

I am walking to the Gare du Nord and I pass the Corpus Christi chapel in the Avenue Friedland. I am tired and late but surely I can spare two minutues for God. The Mass is halfway through and I go up to the altar to receive communion. Just six of us. A quiet moment in the bustle.

Then amazingly I find the 43 bus to take me straight there.

Thursday 5 March 2020

The Forty Hours is just finishing in the Cathedral today. Sophia and me don’t last long. She wants to be on her way to soft play at the Army Museum.

“To my words give ear, O Lord. Give heed to my sights.” (Antioch)

Friday 6 March 2020

I am in the village church and open the Book of Common Prayer randomly and alight on Psalm 66:

“O be joyful in God, all ye lands
Sing praises unto the honour of His name,
Make His praise to be glorious.”

The sun is out, the wind is calm. Time for a three-hour walk across the Wolds.

Saturday 7 March 2020

I read today’s psalm in the Book of Common Prayer:

“Blessed are those that are undefiled in the way and walk in the law of the Lord.”

Sunday 23 February 2020 — Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

I am struck by the litany of St Gregory which I always read after Mass in the Holy Rood.

“From eternal death, deliver us, O Lord.”

That is a more powerful way of putting it than going on about eternal life.

That is what the atheists are offering us: eternal death. Surely none of us wants that, or even think it very likely.

Monday 24 February 2020

I manage to get to Mass at the Cathedral.

“But if at heart you have the bitterness of jealousy, or a self-seeking ambition, never make any claims for yourself.” (James 3)

Well — easily said, not so easily done. We are all at the centre of our own little universe.

Tuesday 25 February 2020 — Shrove Tuesday

James 4:1

“Where do these wars and battles between yourselves first start? Isn’t it precisely in the desires fighting inside your own selves?”

Precisely.

Wednesday 26 February 2020 — Ash Wednesday

I can’t do my usual and listen to Allegri’s Miserere at the 5:30 Mass so I make do with the Latin one at 10:30. Very calm and peaceful.

I am always struck by this passage from Matthew 6:

“Be careful not to parade your good deeds before men.”

Should I be doing this blog at all? Or just keep quiet?

Thursday 27 February 2020

I am at Wilton Park for an FCO conference on Nigeria and religious violence. What a delight to have Mass for just six of us said by the Archbishop Emeritus of Abuja, Cardinal Onaiyekan. So calm and spiritual in all this talk of violence.

Friday 28 February 2020

I go to Evensong in Lincoln Cathedral. Always a delight to listen to Cranmer’s prose. No one can ruin this service: it is incapable of change.

The huge empty nave, luckily with no chairs — a silent witness.

Saturday 29 February 2020

A reading of a psalm in the village church.

“Turn your ear, O Lord, and give answer: for I am poor and needy.” (Psalm 85)

Sunday 16 February 2020 — Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

“He has set fire and water before you.
Put out you hand to whichever you prefer.”

This is our choice.

“Man has life and death before him. Whichever a man likes better will be given him.”

These words from Ecclesiasticus are so true.

We wonder why God allows evil. He doesn’t will it: it is our free will which ordains it.

“He never commanded anyone to be godless.”

The world increasingly rejects God, ignores Him. Doesn’t even think on Him. This is our free will.

In the afternoon we go to our village church for evening prayer. We are the entire congregation at that beautiful service.

We hear the story of Genesis from the King James Bible. We think how could all this be true when we are but a speck of dust in this universe of trillions of stars.

Yes, but as the priest tells us, we may be, humanity, the point of the needle. Needles have a point. That is their point. There may be a purpose in all this. It is our choice whether to believe.

Monday 17 February 2020

“Your faith is only put to the test to make you patient.” (James)

My faith is so weak that my patience is indeed tested. I sometimes think that I will never truly and wholly believe til I am dead.

Tuesday 18 February 2020

I am struck by this phrase sitting in our village church:

“When sin is fully grown, it too has a child, and the child is Death.” (James 1:12)

Is that not a powerful phrase to conjure with?

Wednesday 19 February 2020

Today’s Mass is at Farm Street, the 150th anniversary of the Catholic Union.

“Be quick to listen but slow to speak and slow to rouse your temper.” (James 1)

Wise words often not heeded, at least within the mind.

There is an exhibition at the Tate. The religious pictures from James II’s chapel in Whitehall Palace leave me strangely unmoved. Perhaps too ornate and mannered?

Thursday 20 February 2020

Before driving up to Lincolnshire I go to Mass in the Cathedral. There is a powerful sermon on the theme of “Who do people say that I Am”. Peter answers “the Christ”, but what do we say? Just a good man, or a liar, or Christ? Given His claim He can either be the Christ or a liar. I choose the former sitting there. Elsewhere, doubts creep in.

Friday 21 February 2020

I read Psalm 112 alone in our church.

“Praise the Lord, ye servants:
O praise the name of the Lord.”

You can watch Compline on YouTube now. It is quite a soothing way of going to bed. A single monk alone in his candlelit cell singing the office.

Belief comes slowly and with practice.

“Let dreams depart and phantoms fly, the offspring of the night…”

Saturday 22 February 2020 — The Chair of St Peter

The church is being cleaned and I walk up the hill to see the hunt riding by and read Universalis.

“The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want. Fresh and green are the pastures where he gives me repose.”

Appropriate, with great emerald views stretching away twenty miles to the south.

The words of Compline from Psalm 4 spring to mind:

“What can bring us happiness, many say.
Lift up the light of Your face on us, O Lord.”

That is why I turn to religion. It makes me happy, or did so the first time I heard the monks singing Compline and went to bed with their words in my mind.

Tuesday 11 February 2020

Someone writes in to complain about my reading in the cathedral. I should not have said “Responsorial Psalm”. How petty can you get? So here is the responsorial psalm for today:

How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord God of Hosts.
My soul is longing and yearning,
is yearning for the courts of the Lord.
My heart and my soul ring out their joy.

Isn’t this the point?

Wednesday 12 February 2020

I start to walk up the aisle to be a Eucharistic minister in the crypt chapel and am turned back at the altar rail by Father Pat due to Coronavirus. Communion will not be taken in both kinds. Not my week.

We hear of the Queen of Sheba. “She brought immense riches to Jerusalem.”

Thursday 13 February 2020

I go to the 5:30 Mass in the Cathedral, carefully sitting in the back and noting what the reader says. “The reading is taken from the Book of Kings.”

I got that wrong too.

“When Solomon grew old his wives swayed his heart to other gods, and his heart was not wholly with the Lord.”

Nor is mine. It wanders all the time. Today to the reshuffle and the sudden demise of the Chancellor. Such pointless badges of power.

Friday 14 February 2020 — St Cyril, Monk

I am back in the village church in the total quiet.

These are holy men who became friends of God, glorious heralds divine truth.

Saturday 15 February 2020

I forget Universalis on my iPhone so I just have the Book of Common Prayer.

Psalm 116 (117):

Oh praise the Lord all you nations
Acclaim Him all you peoples
Strong is His love for us
He is faithful for ever.

That says it all.

St Paul Miki & Companions

Monday 3 February 2020 (4th Week in Ordinary Time)

I must have attended scores, even hundreds, of meekly masses in the Cathedral but for the first time ever I arrive and Mary asks me to do a reading. Very happy but for the first time I can remember I have conjunctivitis.

The reading is very long, all about David fleeing Absalom.

Here I am with the vast cathedral stretching before me and I can barely read the text through my tears. The priest must think me an awful bore reading so slowly. He rattles off the Gospel.

Anyway, divine punishment!

David then made his way up the Mount of Olives weeping as he went, his head covered, his feet bare. (2 Samuel 15:13

Tuesday 4 February

I am back in the Cathedral luckily only listening.

Poor old Absalom.

Jacob took three lances in his hand and thrust them into his heart while he was still alive there in the oak tree. (2 Samuel 18:19)

Wherever I read this I think of father-son relationships. However they are, even open rebellion, they the sons are the most precious of objects.

Wednesday 5 February – St Agatha

It is Mass in the crypt chapel.

David said to God: this is a hard choice. (2 Sam 29:8)

All choices are hard. Does God give us choices? Do we have a choice? Is there a God? Is it all random or pre-ordained? God or no God? Why worry. Anyway, David chooses the least of three evils. That’s all we can do.

Thursday 6 February – St Paul Miki

I have a question to answer in the House so I miss the 10:30 Mass. But I could have gone to the early one — too idle.

Compared to the Japanese martyrs our faith and commitment is as small as a mustard seed when compared to the tree. I doubt, thrown into the cares of the world at the side of the path, it will ever grow much bigger than a dandelion.

Friday 7 February

I am alone in the village church. I read Psalm 17: “Praise be the God Who sees me.”

It is very easy sitting there, the light streaming in through the south-facing windows.

There and then, just for a moment, He is here. He sees me. One leaves the church door and of course one forgets.

Saturday 8 February

I am reading Psalm 118: “Lord, teach me our statues. With my tongue I have recounted the decrees of your lips.”

Sunday 9 February — 5th Sunday in Ordinary Time

There is no 5:30 Mass at Osgodby. The storm must have cancelled it. So we go to St Hugh’s in Lincoln for the 6:30 Mass.

“No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub. They put it on a lamp stand.” (Matthew 5:13)

I am mainly looking after Sofka so I miss today’s saint who apparently saw a great light around England.

Monday 10 February – St Scholastica

I am in the Cathedral and asked to read again. This time I can see.

“The cloud filled the temple of the Lord.” (1 Kings)

But this time I could at least see this latter-day temple.

Friday 24 January 2020

We went to the funeral of Jonathan Green in the magnificent Louth Parish church.

About six hundred people there. He was only 57.

A good man and a sad occasion, but I drew comfort from these words in St Paul to the church in Thessalonika:

“For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again , even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died.”

Sitting there, I had the definite feeling that it was true. Words come and go, doubts remain, but suddenly from nowhere one gets this strange conviction. Or perhaps from somewhere?

Saturday 25 January 2020

Today’s psalm On Saturday is Psalm 117.

I read it alone in the silent village church.

“Laudate Domine”

Praise the Lord all ye nations, in the modern translation — all ye heathens in the old.

TUESDAY 21 JANUARY 2020

We went to three very different services this weekend in Lincolnshire.

On Friday in Binbrook Parish Church to the funeral of Norah Douglas, who died at the age of 92. An occasion to celebrate a life well spent.

On Saturday to the last weekend service at Bardney, due to a shortage of priests. If we could ordain married permanent deacons, many of outstanding merit and maturity we wouldn’t have this problem in rural areas throughout Europe.

On Sunday we went to Evening prayer in our village church. A lovely Anglican tradition. Out of all the services what the priest said struck me the most. He was commenting on the Gospel around the baptism. Jesus tells his new disciples: “Come and see” and “Go and Tell”. Good advice for all of us…

SUNDAY 19 JANUARY 2020

This Sunday we go to the last weekend service at Bardney. A really nice atmosphere and a skilful exegesis on the Gospel reading, showing how all the readings tie in together. Jesus is the Lamb of God and as He dies on the Cross the lambs are sacrificed in the Temple. All the readings point to the same thing: He is the new sacrifice.

30 December 2019 – Monday

I was sitting in our village church. The bright winter sun streaming in from the windows facing south made a play of light on the wall, giving a sense of calm transcendence and movement, yet always the same.

“Sing a new song unto the Lord. Sing unto the Lord, all the whole earth” (Ps 96)

29 December 2019 – Sunday

Ecclesiasticus is full of good advice. I like the bit about looking after the old dad: “Even if his mind should fail, show him sympathy.”

And of course the exhortation for husbands which is known so well. Better not write it down in case I fall short…

27 December 2019 – Feast of St John

“He saw and he believed.”

The first to do so and the only one to stand at the foot of the cross. If one could be with anyone in history would it not be he?

After communion the priest kept a silence. The atmosphere was so heavy with the presence of God, you could cut it with a knife.

Christmas Day

In all the glorious magnificence of Midnight Mass in Latin one phrase stands out and is endlessly repeated in my brain.
In the second reading of St Paul’s letter to Titus:

“What we must do is give up everything that does not lead to God and all worldly ambition.”

22 December 2019 – Fourth Sunday of Advent

Today is the last Sunday in Advent and at Mass we have the collect said every day in the Angelus.

As I sit later alone in the village church, with the afternoon light streaming in, it is a beautiful thing again to read. Again a great sense of a presence.

“Pour forth we beseech you O Lord your grace into our hearts that we, to whom the incarnation of Christ Your Son was made known by the message of an angel, may, by His Passion and Cross, be brought to the glory of His resurrection.”

Apparently more people believe in Angels than God. But then where do they come from? We should certainly treat casual strangers in the street well. They may be an angel.

21 December 2019 – Saturday

Saturday 21st December. The shortest day.

I am alone in the village church at dusk at 4 o’clock. All is hushed and fading. The pictures inside the church merging into the gloom.

I read The Song of Songs:

“Come then my love, my lovely for see winter is past.”

I sit silent and feel that presence of God that only comes in true loneliness. But a joyful one. A profound sense.

Sunday 24 March Third Sunday in Lent

“Do you suppose these Galileans who suffered like that were greater sinners than any other? They weren’t.” (Luke 13:1-9)

To what do we owe chance?

Monday 25 March The Annunciation of the Lord

Lovely to have this beautiful feast in the middle of Lent. We are at the 10:30 Mass in the Cathedral.

The beautiful words at the end of the Magnificat:

“Let what you have said be done to me, and the Angel left her.” (Luke 1:26-38)

Tuesday 26 March

I feel guilty: I have given up absolutely nothing for Lent. I can’t be bothered – not even angered by five hundred hours of Brexit debate.

“Not seven, I tell you, but seventy seven.” (Matthew 18:21-35)

How many times do we forgive? Once, or not at all?

Wednesday 27 March

“Do not imagine that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets.” (Matthew 5:17-19)

A demanding passage, but view it as an injunction to keep trying rather than to be overcome by a sense of failure.

Having met with Orthodox Jews at the inaugural meeting of the Values Foundation, they have been teaching their children their faith for five thousand years. I am one of just twenty-one to vote against compulsory relationships and sex education.

Thursday 28 March

“He who is not with me is against me. And he who does not gather with me scatters.” (Luke 11:14)

Is this a command to be with him always? So easy to say – so difficult to do.

Friday 29 March

“You are not far from the Kingdom of God.” (Mark 12:28-34)

This is what we would all like to hear. Can we live a life to make it happen?

Saturday 30 March

The village church is locked all day, so I just read Universalis.

“I thank you God that I am not grasping, unjust, adulterous, like the rest of mankind, and particularly that I am not like this tax collector here.” (Luke 18:9-14)

Are we too often like that?

Sunday 17 March Second Sunday in Lent

I am at the large church near the Place Victor Hugo in Paris. I have Universalis so I can follow the readings.

“The Lord is my light and my help. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life. Before whom shall I shrink?”

Monday 18 March

No time today in Paris to go to Mass, but I can read Universalis.

“Do not treat us according to our sins, O Lord.”

Tuesday 19 March St Joseph’s Day

Mass in St Joseph’s Chapel. Lovely to have the Mass in Latin with the priest facing away.

“Behold a faithful and prudent shepherd whom the Lord set over his household.”

Wednesday 20 March

A swim in the Serpentine and then some breakfast but back in time for Mass.

“Anyone who wants to be great among you must be your servant and anyone who wants to be first among you must be your slave.”

Thursday 21 March

I go to the 10:30 Mass.

“Test me, O God, and know my thoughts. See that my path is not wicked and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Friday 22 March

“But his brothers came to hate him [Joseph] so much that they could not say a civil word to him.” (Genesis 37)

It’s strange how hatred can grow from anything, even a father’s love for a son.

Saturday 23 March

I have a short time in the 10:30 sung Latin Saturday morning Mass – the most beautiful of the week. Why did we ever give it up? A little gem in the middle of London.

Sunday 10 March 1st Sunday in Lent

“I will give you all this power and the glory of these kingdoms.” (Luke 4:1-13)

How and why do we strive for power or influence or recognition? How difficult to give Jesus’s answer: You must worship the Lord your God and serve Him alone.

Monday 11 March

“I tell you solemnly, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me.” (Matthew 25:31-46)

Isn’t this the most difficult injunction of all? Do we visit the sick, those in prison?

Tuesday 12 March

I go to Mass and think on today’s psalm: “The Lord rescues the just in all their distress.”

I think all those who come forward to take communion should be welcomed whatever their state of mind.

“I sought the Lord and He answered me. From all my terrors He set me free.”

Wednesday 13 March

I go to our Mass in the crypt.

“Remember your companion, O Lord, and your merciful love, for they are from of old.” (Entrance Antiphon)

Thursday 14 March

“O Lord, give heed to my sighs. Attend to the sound of my cry, my king and my god.”

I have sent off my letter to the Holy Father in which I ask for zero tolerance of clerical abusers. We will see what answer we get.

Friday 15 March

“If you, O Lord, should mark our guilt, who would then survive?”

Saturday 16 March

I read a psalm in our village church. KJV because that is in the Book of Common Prayer they have there. But here it is in modern speak: “They are happy whose life is blameless, who follow God’s law. They are happy who do His will, serving Him with all their hearts.” (Psalm 118)

3 March 2019 – Eighth Sunday Ordinary Time

We are at Mass in the Mass House at Osgodby, just three of us and Father Robert sings it in Latin for me, facing the altar.

In a shaken sieve the rubbish is left behind. So too the defects of man appear in his tail. (Ecclesiasticus 27, 5)

Monday 4 March

I am at Mass in the Cathedral at 10.30.

“Go and sell everything you own and give the money to the poor.”

This is what we are supposed to concentrate on but I prefer this phrase: “Jesus looked steadily at him and loved him.” (Mark 10:17-27)

He loves our lack of will and imperfections.

Tuesday 5 March

I go to Mass in the Cathedral.

“The Lord became my protector. He brought me out to a place of freedom. He saved me because he delighted in me.” (Entrance Antiphon)

I write a letter to the Pope – not something one does every day – and I imagine he gets rather too many letters.

Ash Wednesday 6 March

I go as usual to the 5:30 Mass in the Cathedral. There are various distractions. I worry if I am in someone’s seat but nothing can take away from Allegri’s Miserere. It’s lovely that Ben and Theo come to Mass.

As the priest says this is like any other 5:30 Mass just a little busier. Or is it?

“Sound the trumpet in Zion. Order a fast. Proclaim a solemn assembly.”

Friday 8 March

“Why is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not?” (Matthew 9)

I think on my poor fasting!

Saturday 9 March

“It is not those who are well who need the doctor, but the sick.” (Luke 5:22)

It is good to think on this when debating who should receive communion.

I go to evening Mass at the Cathedral. The reading sums up our dilemma: “Help the little faith I have.”

At last a senior clergyman tells it how it is. Questioned about child abuse in the Church, the Archbishop of Melbourne says: “In this area our credibility is shot to pieces.”

Progress starts with humility and a realisation that action needs taking and bishops no longer are trusted to do it.

“Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord.”

All too true. One certainly can’t place it in anyone else’s hands.

Today I always reflect on the Japanese martyrs and the film of their plight but perhaps the Japanese government was justified in protecting their traditional culture. We do not condone their cruelty. They would say they saved their country.

We are in Lincolnshire for a quiet day especially as we go to Mass at the Osgodby Mass House (1793) in the evening. It is a very short Mass, no sermon, but givien the place in the tiny Mass House it is spiritual for all that.

“What is your name” asked Jesus. “My name is Legion.” I don’t know why I always find that phrase chilling, and yet correct about human nature.