The waters of the Jordan will be stopped in their course.
And stand still in one mass.
Then indeed did they lose all remorse.
All of Israel could cross in one great mass .

I have stood by the Jordan.
It is so narrow you could wade across.
It is not the river that stops us, but man.
O that we create these barriers to our loss.

If only we could learn to forgive a wrong.
Not seven times but seventy seven you say.
Now the journey from Jerusalem to Amman would not be long.
But wire barriers stand in the way.

One day peace that makes us one people will be met.
But sadly not yet.

—-+++—-

Forgive all our wrongs
Seventy times not seven
But first it needs peace

—-+++—-

See Joshua 3: 7-11,13-17

Moses went up Mount Nebo, the peak of Pisgah.
And the Lord showed him the whole land.
Here even today you can see far.
The view drops into endless sand.

Often in our own wilderness we can see a great distance.
But all we perceive in our mind’s eye is endless desert.
Of our blighted view we can make no sense.
No grinding perplexity can we avert.

Others may take the road happily forwards.
We are condemned to be buried here, we deplore.
We regret we were such a coward.
We could have achieved so much more.

But Moses for all his faults achieved so much.
We too can do a little with the help of his touch .

—-+++—-

Despite all our faults
We can  too achieve so much
No need for regrets

[See Deuteronomy 34:1-12]

Thin sowing means thin reaping.
The more you sow the more you reap.
Giving is as good as keeping.
If we give there is no need to weep.

Every time we die we live a little more.
Every time we lose a little we gain a little more.
When we fall we rise higher than before.
Dying is returning to our core.

The wheat grain dies.
It lives again.
They are not in vain ,our cries.
They remove every bane .

So we need not fear death.
It is just new breath.

——+++—-

Death is not the end
It is just the beginning
Of exciting new life

——++++—-

See John12:24-26

I am going to lead her out into the wilderness.
Then she will respond to me as she did when she was young.
All will no longer be emptiness.
No longer will he feel the hurt, no longer will it be sung.

Hosea felt betrayed by she whom he loved.
But he returned again and again to his betrothed.
He knew that fortitude was needed.
He was prepared to welcome back his beloved.

He looked at her with justice and integrity.
With love and tenderness.
Despite all prosperity and adversity.
He ignored all love’s numbness.

What an example to follow.
True love need never feel hollow.

——+++—-

True love is justice
Fortitude integrity
And true tenderness

——+++—-

See Hosea 2:16,17,21-22

O Lord, I have had enough.
Take my life, I am no better than my ancestors.
Sometimes everything seems irredeemably tough.
We have no faith even in our elders.

As the long dark night passed.
And the problems mounted.
I thought of those who had lost the passed.
How little compared to them have my worries counted.

Nothing lasts for one.
All bread goes stale.
Save one.
And that never goes stale.

So, despite the past, we surely can cope.
Because in the future we can hope.

……….

The past then is gone
And now the future beckons
And one bread then lasts

………..,

See 1 Kings 19: 4-8

Faithless and perverse generation.
How much longer must I be with you.
So are we condemned to damnation.
I can only say if only I knew.

So last night the usual doubts and fears were worrying around.
There are the long and the short type.
The years long regrets abound.
The short term irritations all too ripe.

And then in the dark my mental eye saw a light.
I focussed on it alone and just the present.
The doubts disappeared out of sight.
Few had ever given me a better present.

Perhaps our happiness is just down here and now to us.
Like faith a little would move mountains, we make so much fuss.

Haiku

In the long dark night
I try to focus on light
Happiness is now

[See Matthew 17:1,4-20]

They observed the warning faithfully.
Though they discussed what rising from the deaf could mean.
Sometimes we can get an insight prayerfully.
But then truth can in an instant be seen.

I was reading this passage in a quiet pew.
The Apostles were perplexed.
It seemed so natural and true.
Faith comes and goes unannounced.

You can argue faith rationally.
You can debate back and forth in your mind.
But then something happens naturally.
You lose, you search, you find.

For a moment I was with the Apostles talking.
On that mountain after the light, wondering.

Haiku

Insight comes slowly
Then suddenly it is found
In unlikely ways

[See Matthew 17:5]

Harden not your hearts as at Meribah.
As at that day at Massah in the desert.
Our steps may take us far.
But at the end of our days there is little we can safely assert.

I love these words of the Ninety Fourth psalm.
They remind me of Matins at the Monastery.
Very early in the dark morning all is calm.
To another world I am on a ferry.

And they sum our own questioning.
And we will never be shown water gushing from a stone.
We will go on seeking.
If necessary alone.

But we never lose heart in trying.
Even if I’m not succeeding.

Haiku

Do our hearts welcome
Or do they harden often
A daily struggle

[Note: See today’s Psalm 94]

For forty years you shall bear the burden of your sins.
And you shall learn what it means to reject me.
And thus the lifetime haul begins.
I doubt if ever I shall be free.

The Israelites wandered for forty years.
I have struggled for seventy.
Absolute belief will not come however many tears.
Will it remain thus for another twenty.

I fear I will never get further than my own Mount Nebo.
Once indeed I did stand there.
All one sees is desert painted in ever shifting shades of yellow.
The land falls away into a vast depression, everything is bare.

So today I just sat in the Blessed Sacrament chapel.
And I found relief as I made my own appeal.

Haiku

We ourselves wander
It might be a long lifetime
In our own desert

[Note: See Numbers 13]

O God, come to my assistance.
O Lord , make haste to help me.
I only hear you faintly, even with persistence.
I can only make my plea.

It is not unusual for doubts to linger.
It is no shame to question your existence.
It makes our faith even stronger.
It is usual to seek assistance.

Faith is not a galleon sailing fairly.
It is a waterlogged raft.
But it can never sink entirely.
Light pierces the storm clouds like a shaft.

There are long periods of rocky silence.
Then at last a sense of calm balance.

Haiku

Faith is like a raft
Often very waterlogged
But never sinking

[Note: See Entrance Antiphon of today’s mass from ps. 69]

Here we are wasting away.
Stripped of everything.
Like them we cannot keep our nagging fears at bay.
All too often we are on a faltering downswing.

With all their incessant grumbling.
Moses lost patience with them.
But yet they still persevered with their wandering.
For somewhere was their hidden promised gem.

Like him we cannot carry this weight.
We cry out for a helping hand.
We wish we could wipe clean the slate.
But all we see is the desert’s sand.

But soon this wandering will end.
And we will surely be on the mend.

Haiku

A vast sea of sand
Endless pointless wandering
But surely it will end

[Note: See Numbers 11:4,15]

The whole community began to complain.
In the wilderness.
It spreads like a dark stain.
We seem to wallow in a cloying mental mess.

It is not so much a twilight of the soul.
As a deep depression.
As we read ourselves in with more and more toil.
It all seems to make less and less impression.

In this cold desert ever nearer.
Our minds wander in circles.
Truth seems ever further.
There are no miracles.

Then as we bury ourselves, reading.
We realise there is an end to this wandering.

Haiku

In the wilderness
We can just go on reading
It’s all we can do

[Note: First two lines based on Exodus 16:2-4, 12-15]

The greater the number of years the higher the price demanded.
The less the number of years, the greater the reduction.
We wonder what we are commanded.
How can we avoid our destruction.

St Ignacio holds my imagination.
He was a man of the world fulfilling every fancy.
He realised that reading scripture was not just his libation.
It made him happy.

I am not convinced scripture is all true.
But it seems to have extraordinary wisdom.
To everything it seems to give a clue.
In front of it my doubts are dumb.

Unlike Ignacio we may not be able to give everything up.
But of his wisdom we can surely sup.

Haiku

As we read scripture
We feel it provides a clue
Whether or not true

[Note: First two lines from Leviticus 25:1,8-17]

St Peter Chrysologus

Raise a song and sound the timbrel.
The sweet smelling harp and lute.
Hear the humming minstrel.
Listen to the high pitched flute.

St Peter known as of the golden speech.
But nearly all his writings lost.
We have no idea how he did preach.
And at what cost.

So will vanish all our writing.
What hubris we have.
We should just take pleasure in this moment fleeting.
It is all we really have.

And then I saw the fleeting sunlight on the windowsill.
What momentary joy it brought until.

Haiku

A fleeting moment
Sunlight on the windowsill
It is all we have

[Note: First two lines from Psalm 80]

If you had been here.
My brother would not have died.
We do not know when we will be carried to our bier.
Or if others will have cried.

I am reading about the voyage of the Belgica.
And her terrible voyage to the Antarctic.
Over the side goes young Wiencke.
A line is thrown, it is all too quick.

Brave Captain Lecointe leaps to the rescue, despite any cost.
A savage freezing sea is raging.
A hand grips the lad but he is lost.
A last sight, the lad is not breathing.

Such is our fate, a line is thrown.
Life or death on the toss of a coin.

Haiku

line is thrown to us
Then can we take it or not
It is life or death

[Note: First two lines from John 11:19-21]

Patris Corde.
With a father’s heart.
Praise, laude.
A loving dart.

St Joseph, come to my aid.
In these times of difficulty.
Into your hands my troubles are laid.
Guard me vigilantly.

You alone know what I ask.
This is my challenge.
Will you undertake this task.
Without you, I cannot manage.

I called you, is this prayer to be in vain.
But then today I knew suddenly that in you, my request could be lain.

Haiku

My trust is in you
Let it not be said of you
My prayer was vain

[Note See Pope Francis’s footnote on Page 7 of his Apostolic Letter]

The Lord, a God of tenderness and compassion.
Slow to anger, rich in kindness and faithfulness.
We who are mere followers of fashion.
Are sometimes prone to blindness.

But there are some, very few who stand up for right.
Thomas Becket, Thomas More and Titus Brandsma , a man of our time.
Truth was the won thing of which they never lost sight.
Apart from stubbornness they were guilty of no crime.

One killed in anger, one executed, one murdered.
All victims of a ruthless tyrant.
They never surrendered.
They did not recant.

We mere conformists.
Will not appear on any lists.

…….

Haiku

We mere conformists
Will not appear on a list
Of men who did right

[Note: First two lines from Exodus 33:7-11, 34:5-9, 28]

This people have committed a grave sin.
Making themselves a god of gold.
The calf was probably only made of rusting tin.
And for this their lives were sold.

I was watching once again the film The Lion in Winter.
Over two hours of gloriously acted disputes about Aquitaine.
Compared to this high politics our Nowhere Special is a mere splinter.
Like most of us, driving down life’s slow lane.

But what were these great lives really achieving.
Ageing Henry just looks at the vile treachery of his sons.
Violent Richard, inadequate John, wily Geoffrey scheming.
These are not glorious arising suns.

Let’s just be happy sitting at home having a quiet laugh.
And not going after the allure of the Golden Calf.

Haiku

Seek the Golden Calf ?
Is it really worth the price
I’m not at all sure

[Note: First two lines taken from Exodus 32:15-34]

We may use the good things that pass.
In such a way as to hold fast even now.
We will all be like dried and withered grass.
However high now we will be laid low.

I was watching the tender film Nowhere Special.
About the love of a dying single father for his son.
They looked together at a dead beetle, it’s shell no longer a vessel.
It’s essence had fled, all its life quite done.

The father had to explain he was leaving.
He would not be seen but would always hear.
Soon too we will be passing.
But we will always listening, here.

The other would be adopters talk about themselves.
The chosen one asks about the boy himself.

Haiku

Talk about others
Not always about yourself
Is that not better

[Note: First two lines from the Collect of today]

First collect the darnel and tie it in bundles to be burnt.
Then gather the wheat into my barn.
We forget all that we have learnt.
Our memories a long lost yarn.

Last night I felt like I did as a boy.
I seemed to separate myself from my body.
I was rushing down a slide, unable anything to embody.
In a bottomless hole there was neither fear nor joy.

Is this a foretaste of with death our union.
Do we see our body slowly dissolve.
Is the link between mind and body an illusion.
It’s a riddle that since boyhood I have been unable to solve.

This feeling only comes in a half awakened state.
Only then can we start to wipe clean the day’s slate.

Haiku

When just half awake
You separate your body
Is this his a first death

[Note: First two lines are from Matthew 13:24-30]

As a branch cannot bear fruit all by itself.
Neither can you unless you remain in me.
We are deluded if we place all our trust in the self.
Ultimately, with death, we all have to pay our fee.

I am picking my broad beans today.
They are nurtured by their branches.
Did I water too much, too little who can say.
But they lie in my vegetable patch in neat tranches.

They taste delicious and fresh.
But they have no life on their own.
They were only saved from the rabbits by that mesh.
Nor are they worried that nothing do they own.

If only we realised we can do nothing on our own.
We would be much happier realising everything we have is but a loan.

Haiku

We can do nothing
All that we have is a loan
Let’s just be content

[Note: First two lines are from John 15:1-8]

On my bed at night I sought him.
Whom my heart loves.
I would search for her to the world’s outermost rim.
Even to the sea’s deepest darkest coves.

Once I took her to Capri.
To the dark blue Lagoon.
Here we swam in the warm sea.
And sought relief from the sun’s swoon.

Mary bathed his feet with tears.
He did not reject her love.
In our own life love is is not always free from cares.
But it’s true peace is as gentle as the dove.

In the Grotta Azzurra all is reflected light.
Sometimes truth too comes from something out of sight.

Haiku

Truth is not in sight
It comes in reflection
But it is still true

[Note: First two lines from The Song of Songs 3:1-4]

Why did we not die in the land of Egypt.
When we sat down to pans of meat.
In our own lives we know the script.
We never miss a moment to bleat.

Moses got the people out of Egypt’s prison.
He could not get Egypt out of the people’s mind.
We crave the inadequacy we had before this season.
The past is rich, poor the present, we are blind.

We wander aimlessly.
Around our own Mont Sinai.
Complaining crossly.
Open to every pleasing lie.

One day the tablets will come down.
Perhaps we should get them down.

Haiku

Will the tablets come
Perhaps we should go get them
Rather than just wait

[Note: First two lines from Exodus 16:1-5, 9-15]

Who is my mother.
Who are my brothers.
Do we feel we are in a family smother.
Are we in thrall to others.

It is enough to try to do his will.
We do not have to succeed.
We seek to look over a high sill.
Anxious to find out where it will all lead.

People wonder what will become of me.
I am not sure even that me is truly I.
I can not know who the I is although I can hear and see.
I am in the middle, this storm has an eye.

So are our family our true brothers.
Or are they the true believers.

Haiku

Who are my brothers
Is it my own family
Or those who agree

(Note: First two lines from Matthew 12:46-50)

I will sing to the Lord.
Glorious his triumph.*
They escaped Pharaoh’s sword.
They showed their defiance.

When I read this psalm
I think of the Easter vigil.
The lights dimmed in calm.
And of the fates turned fickle.

We stand in expectant awe.
Of what will happen in this story.
Will the Israelites escape to achieve so much more.
And so much transcendent glory.

We too will pass through the desert.
And find our own glory after so much hurt.

Haiku

We pass through desert
But after all this we win
An immortal crown

*Note: First two lines from Exodus 15:1-6